My books that have lgbtq characters or relationships.

I was born during the time when fairytales exist.
No back stories,
just happily ever afters,
and some catharsis in between.
But stories were made,
between a prince described as charming,
and a princess or a damsel who is always in distress.
With a woman who needs to wake up,
from a deep slumber with the use of a kiss,
accompanied by horses and dwarves.
Now I’m getting older
with no pixie dust around,
and Neverland is nowhere found.
Most of the time I see blood, guns, and hateful words,
and even write ups slicing like swords.
People and kids like it better,
when they hear, see or read,
stories about infidelity and dishonesty.
However there are romances sometimes,
that are hidden like treasure chests.
Because they are hot on the eyes,
with hots to be killed and slashed.
For many say it’s not right,
and it does not follow the light.
It might have been a happy ending,
all night dancing,
under the stars and the moonlight,
like those fairytales of delight.
But fairytales exist no longer
And maybe,
someone will pull the trigger.
Now those who were asleep,
have gotten on their feet.
To fight and take the lead.
But some books are kept,
Some books are hidden,
Just like a love bitten,
bleeding and somewhat forgotten.

— August 16, 2014 | Thought of some random rhymes and it really turned out as random as it is.

I saw this on top of my little brother’s head (he’s asleep now). And I knew, I raised him well. :)

I wanna own a copy. :(

He had seen what love really could be. And once you’d had a taste of that and lost it, you could never be truly happy again.

Francine Pascal | Fearless 12: Killer

Ella died. Ella Niven (just) died, guys. I wanna cry! Shiz! Before, I want to strangle her to death. Now, I wanna hug her. And if I were to see her body lying on the snow with her blood forming somewhat like a halo around her head, I will definitely cry.

She wanted to do something she can be proud of or others can be and she did. She salvaged Gaia. She sacrificed herself because of her own mistake. Redemption.

Ella, you will be missed. By me. :( No more Ella on the next books.

At least being fearless had a few perks. Falling in love never paid off. Ever.

Francine Pascal | Fearless 12: Killer

(Source: polaris-kirsten)

THIS HAS SPOILERS!

Yeah! Done! And all I can say is, it is amazing! One of the book adaptations which is good. Seriously. Though I’ve received a comment that it wasn’t good, or maybe I am the only one who thinks of that, it is good! It is beyond good. But it wasn’t completely the same as the things on the book but it was the closest thing ever!

I’ve even understood some things while watching. Maybe it’s because I jumped at some details while reading the book. I tend to do that when it doesn’t interest me. That about Ruth. That she was then able to see the dead or the death ‘cause Susie accidentally touched her when she was on her way to leave Earth. My… My thoughts are messed up since I just watched it and I can’t think of the right words to say but I might just write randomly.

Owkay. When Ray Singh said Susie Salmon is beautiful, he wasn’t lying. On the book, for me, as I understood, though I guess I never understood anything, it was Lindsey who is beautiful. But the movie, Susie for the win!

The events, the sequence, well, they were not arranged according to what was on the book but hey, the messing up or sequencing of the events was so awesome. The effects too. You might say at first it was childish, some sort of especially when Holly and Susie were in the Inbetween and having fun in their own heavens, when the ‘Dreamworks’ moon was there, but no, it wasn’t. It was far beyond that. I can’t explain. It’s not like those of childlike — Nemo or Wall-e or whatever. Sorry, can’t explain further.

As the events, yeah, some were fast paced, some were not really right. Like, it wasn’t by the lockers where they saw Ruth being scolded for her drawing. It wasn’t because Mr. Salmon’s injury, being beaten by Brian, why Mrs. Salmon went back home. There was no affair between Len and Mrs. Salmon established. And, I wasn’t expecting Grandma Lynn to be that kind of ‘hippie’! She was so awesome! And about the kiss talk, it was done by the phone but on the movie, Grandma Lynn and Susie were talking about it face-to-face at the mall. There were other things too that I even scanned or skimmed, I forgot which is right, the book which is just here, on my left. Like, on page 182 [haha, I took note of the page]. Film Version, yeah, there was a Holly. Book, there was, too. But the thing is, Susie, on the film, knew that Holly was also a victim by Mr. Harvey. She has another name but on the book, the name was, Wendy Richter. The incident happened when she was waiting for her dad outside a bar. On the movie, it said that she was waiting for her father to close their shop. And by papers, it wasn’t said that she was Holly. So, maybe on the motion picture, it was just for the sake of the art or what. For some twist and it was a good kind of turn. Edit: I remembered something! THE one in the book which was the very first thing they saw which made Susie ‘missing’ — her elbow! It wasn’t shown on the movie! Wait, was it the first thing? But yeah. Her elbow and the Gilbert’s dog was not there.

Next, hmmm. It wasn’t really established that Lindsey was a genius or gifted. It was only given once when Mr. Harvey was looking at some newspaper clippings or articles and Lindsey’s there.

Though I know what will happen next, especially on the part where Lindsey got inside Mr. Harvey’s house, I know she won’t be caught — meaning physically caught by his arms and do what he did to her sister and others, it still give me this sensation where you will scream on top of your head or mind that — Go! He’s there! He’s coming right after you! Run now! Save your life! O-kay. I guess what I wrote was over the edge…

Actually, the film had a good set of ‘metaphor’, I can say. It wasn’t said that Susie was raped and chopped into pieces. Not really pieces but she was chopped. But the metaphor showed was really great. The bathroom where Mr. Harvey, the murderer, where he was in his bath tub, the razor, the mud, the blood, everything, it was great. But I can say it was one of the downers too. ‘Cause on that part, I think, if I didn’t read the book, I won’t get it. It’s just me, guys. I’m not like Ruth who’s one hell of a genius or Lindsey. Oh yeah, it wasn’t also showed that Ruth is a genius. Or I am the only one who says she is? And Ruth liking girls.. Oh well, the film didn’t focus on Ruth anyway. It focused more on life. Letting go. Death.

What else? Geez. I already have them earlier now, I can’t remember. I am already sleepy but I am getting awake since I woke up by 7 though I said 6 last night…

There. Guess this one is a big downer. ‘Cause I am pointing at the whole film. That if you were not able to read the book, you may not understand everything at all since the film used metaphors. But again, that’s just as per my thinking. It might be different on your judgement.

Then the icicle! The perfect murder weapon. It was really cool. The way Mr. Harvey died because of the icicle. On the book, it was mentioned that he was standing under a tree, it was winter and on top of him, just by the branch, there’s this icicle. That was all. But on the movie, it was amazing on how the icicle killed him. Well, the reason why his life ended. The icicle hit him by the shoulder part and he felt uneasy. He was standing by the cliff, he went out of balanced then boom! He fell, too many times and landed on a part with his arms bent, and he died. Covered by snow.

The events, again, they were really close to what was on the book. So read it first before watching! Like, when Mr. & Mrs. Salmon got reunited, I was teary-eyed when I read it since Mr. Salmon had a heart attack [not shown on film version — Buckley and him had a talk and that caused it] and he called her Ocean Eyes which was not even mentioned, not even once, on the film version. It was one of those heartwarming moments..

But really, the really downer was — Ray and Susie didn’t kiss when she was still alive! Man! That was supposed to be at the beginning and what happened was, Susie went home after their incident by the lockers, where Ray attempted to kiss her but they were interrupted by the moment when Ruth was scolded of her drawing. By the book, the were on the scaffolds that time and Susie was late. They had a kiss and it was by the lockers. On the film, there was none! It really made me upset. HAHA! But they were able to. When Susie had a chance of getting inside the body of Ruth.

And, they didn’t make love. haha! Or Ray and Ruth having their experiment — kissing each other. Lindsey and Samuel getting wet under the rain after Samuel proposed to her. But Susie was able to say, ‘kiss me’. Yay! And so on.

There were lines from the movie which caught me..

You’re not supposed to look back. you’re supposed to keep going.


This was said by Holly when she saw Susie looking at her family. At Earth. And I was like.. whoa? Somewhat like moving on, huh? Am I supposed not to look back? Should I go now and keep moving? C’mon, Thea. Holly was talking about life and not love. HA-HA!

Nobody notices when we leave. I mean, the moment we when we really choose to go.


This on, too. Susie said this when she was already free. When she already freed herself from Earth and went to heaven. Guess I thought of me leaving someone and won’t get noticed not until I am really gone. That’s hypothetical. Meaning, in general or something that has no specific something or someone being said to or what. I know, I’m hazy but I know you get it. No? Ok. I won’t say anything anymore. haha! But she was really talking about death and letting go of the pain caused by being alive. What the hell am I saying? But yeah, that’s it. Freeing yourself and others.

So, that’s it! Sorry for the spoilersssssssssssssssssssss.. But, watch it! And by the way, I think.. I think I love this girl..

I actually thought that she looks like my classmate or my classmate looks like her. Whatever. Point is, they have the resemblance.


A’right. I’ll go back to sleep though it is already near lunch time. Goodnight! :)

I seriously need to finish the book - The Lovely Bones - now ‘cause I will be watching the motion picture later. I always want to see the book first before the film adaptations. It’s better that way. Since books are the origins most of the time.

I knew the meaning of FOREVER.

Ang puke ay hindi usapin ng luwang at lalim kundi kanino nakakabit at sino ang pwedeng tumakip o maglilim.

Ligo Na Ü, Lapit Na Me

So payday kanina. Pero di nila alam na payday. Dahil sinabi ko sa kanila last time na nagresign na ako, ang alam nila last na sahod ko na yun.

Bumili ako ng dalawang books. For almost 500 pesos, may bago akong mga libro. Whew. Sakit sa bulsa? Lalo na’t ang baba ng nakuha ko and last na yun. Pero OK lang. Mahalaga, masaya ako.

The books I bought are GAY-THEMED ones. Matagal ko nang gusto bilhin yung isa sa kanila. Just trying out something new. Yung,

LADLAD

Windang lang ako na ang pangit na nung cover nung books kahit anong copy. May isa but part 3 na yun tapos 300 or 400 something yung price? Pero di yun yung gusto ko at di kaya ng bulsa ko?

Back then. nung nagkita kami ni Arra para lang mag McFloat, nag aya ako ng Robinson’s Metro East nang makapuntang booksale. Dun ko nakita yung copy ko ng Lady Chatterley’s Lover! Sa wakas, meron na akong copy!

Then punta kaming National. Kumuha ako ng book. Yung Ladlad at dinala ko sa children’s section. Umupo ako sa floor at nagbasa. HAHA! Iniwan ako ni Arra. She did her roams. Kaya tropa kami nun e. Alam na niya na wala na ako sa mundo pagnagbabasa ako.. Alam nga ba niya? Haha!

Tapos before that, nung unang pasok ko sa Rob Galleria, [tama ba spell?] National pa rin pinuntahan ko. Then yun, nakita ko yung PAHMINTA X. Malamang gay din to. So I promised myself I will buy a copy. So I did. Happy!

Pero honestly, bukod dito, may hinahanap pa ako. Let’s say G2G. Pero ang hirap makakita e! Iyak na lang. O ako ang dapat magsimula. HAHAHA! Baliw lang po.

So there. That was my day, partially? Ay binalak ko bumili ng doughnuts, a dozen sa Cubao. Eh paglabas ko ng National sa Galle, boom! DD Stall! YEHEY!

I posted about having Taylor Therapy but just like what I said, it was not really that good. Na parang nakadagdag pa sa ka emohan ko mga kanta niya. LOLs.

So I started grabbing three books. Fearless 11 yung una. Tapos I opened it and the first page was kinda … uhh, hey.. I don’t remember reading this. So I picked the wrong book? Am I not done with 10 yet?

So I went upstairs and took 10.. But to my surprise, it was the 9th book which I stopped on. Hell, my memory is losing grip. What’s happening, eh?

While I was reading, I was shifted to another universe. Which is what I needed. [What the. The mouse ain’t functioning! Oh, there.]

If you are reading or ever got the chance to read Gaia’s story, she is so kewl. Kewler than kewler. The book tells that she can hide her emotions, except for fear cause she can’t feel it. She doesn’t give a damn which I wish I can have. Which I want to have now. What I need. That moment when Ed, poor Ed told her,

You’re going to realize you need me. When you do, you’ll be lucky if I’m still here.

Honestly, I wanna blurt out that too. However, Ed’s kewlness was moved by Gaia’s.

Ed. I don’t need you. I don’t want you. I’m sorry but I don’t see how you - a neurotic guy in a wheelchair - could actually help me. It’s not that I don’t want to talk now, or tomorrow, or next week or whatever. I don’t want to talk ever. I don’t want you in my life. Get the hell out of my life.

Look at that, bitch. She really is. But at the back of her mind, she still cares for Ed, being her only bestfriend. Her only friend. Cause Mary just died..

I know Ed thinks I’m being a total jerk. But there’s nothing I can do about that. He thinks I don’t care about him. But I simply can’tallowmyself to care about him.

Take today, for instance: If I had time, I’d be really upset about his getting mugged at knifepoint. I’d want to hear details. I might even want to try to track that guy down and take him apart for hurting my friend. If I had time, the thought of his being alone and scared while he was being mugged would really hurt me inside. And now, when he’s obviously angry at me, I’d want to try to work it out with him.

And while typing this, I told myself, Gaia has no time for Ed at the moment.. That’s one downer. Cause she’s busy on something.. How I wish I can do that to. Like not giving a damn or time about something. Or about someone, perhaps. But hell. It’s hard. Especially if that person matters to you. You just don’t know if that person feels the same way towards you.. So yeah. From the very beginning, I have wished to be just like Gaia.

Along the pages of the book, something made me feel that I bumped into a rock or something,

"This time last year it didn’t matter that she was alone, that she had no friends, that she had only herself to depend on. Why should it matter now?"

Yeah. Before, it doesn’t matter. But now, why does it seem it does?

A lot of books now are having their motion pictures. Tie-ins, ehr? [I actually don’t know if I used the term tie-in correctly]. Now I came up with this thought. I know there is a big difference between what’s written and what’s seen. That’s why when the fans get to watch the movie, most of the time, they get really disappointed…

hey! that’s not what happened! it’s supposed to be that, and that was supposed to be this!

And the scenarios go on. Well, what I wanna tell right now, is the imagination aspect and visual. I saw a post about THG, yeah, The Hunger Games which I am not a fan. I don’t even know things about it except for those what mygirlfriendsare screaming out.. The post goes,

Peeta blushes beet red and stammers out. “Because … because … she came here with me.”

the post was reblogged by ellasticity..


Question! For those who watched the movie version of the best-selling book,

WE’RE YOU ABLE TO SEE PEETA BLUSH? AS IN BLUSH BEET RED?Whatever that hue of red is.

I didn’t watch it so I don’t know if he did but I guess, he didn’t? Cause you see, blushing comes unexpectedly.. right? And in a movie, real persons act. We cannot think of how they will act anymore unlike when we read the fictional characters we fall in love with. Uhhh, I hope you got my point. Sorry for my lame construction here.

Bottomline, books are still better. We get to imagine and think creatively. You can even put yourself to the character’s shoes while you are reading the story. Right?

Gusto ko sanang dugtungan yung title ko ng “: A Commentary” kaya lang naisip ko, di bagay. Baka puro kalokohang insights lang ang masulat ko rito, mabato at madumog ako ng fans ni Bebang Siy! Ayoko pa mawala sa mundo. Sa Maynila nga di ko kayang mawala, sa mundo pa kaya?

Yan yung libro. I mean yung cover. ‘Wag niyo na itanong kung akin ba yang image o hindi dahil hindi. Nakuha ko lang yan sa google. Nag-iisa nga lang sa dami ng results. Nakaka-iyak. Kinorek pa ako ng google - baka naman daw ang ibig kong sabihin ay, ‘It’s a man’s world.’

Hayaan niyo akong mag English - Tagalog sa post kong to. Kahit minsan lang. Teka nga, para na akong tanga.

I was at a bookstore once, oo yung National Bookstore, when I saw this book. I was looking for something Filipino kasi. Puro na ako foreign and I wanna discover a new Filipino author. Hindi palaging si Sir Ricky na lang. Baka magsawa siya sa akin pero di ako magsasawa sa kanya. By the way, pa promote naman. May sequel ang SI AMAPOLA SA 65 NA KABANATA, suportahan natin ang paglipad!

When I saw this, I was like, what the hell with this book? Is this about grammar stuff? KEWL. I, being a Grammar Nazi, guess will dwell on this if it really is made that way. I looked at the author. New to my ears. I am not a fan of Bob Ong or Eros Atalia. So everytime I pick a book, I hope that it won’t run them. Sorry fans.

So I looked at the back of the cover. Oh, it’s about menstruation. Nice. That’s why the title says, “MENS.” Eh parang saktong may dalaw ata ako nun o katatapos ko lang? Di naman kasi ako mag gagala kung meron ako. Hassle to the nth. I didn’t open it on the first page. I opened it to last few pages where I saw BFF x 2 but I didn’t read. I left it there and went home. From then on, I was itching to have a copy of it.

Ava even said we should give each other a gift. Oha, tinalo pa namin mag bestfriends. Buti wala akong ganun kundi, siguro, may nagselos na sa tabi-tabi. I agreed that we both give a book as her proposition. I forgot what she said but I made it clear to her that I want a Bebang Siy. Then on, Daryl tweeted ‘IT’S A MENS WORLD #bebangsiy’ I was like, waaaaaaaaaaah! Da!! Paano mo nalaman yan? Ayon. Binabasa pala ni Jo.

Syempre, sabi ng kaklase ko dati, kung may gusto raw ako, nakukuha ko sa mga paraan ko dati oo, leshe ngayon, parang hindi na! ahaha! So, nagpa cute ako kay Jo! Pumayag naman siyang pahiramin ako. Take note, hindi sa kanya ang libro! hah! Lakas ko! Joke lang. Nahiya na nga ako kasi nawala yung bookmarks sa book na I know I had a fault dun kahit hindi ako yung naka tanggal.

So ayon. Natapos ko siya kanina. Nung umpisa kong binabasa yun, natatakot talaga ako. Natatakot akong ala Bob Ong o Eros yun. Patawarin niyo na ako. Traumatic lang para sa akin. Sorry na, OK? Kahit paulit-ulit ako. Pero it turned out, pang! Palo! Natawa ako sa kaniya. Hindi pilit yung tawa ko. As in tawa. Ngiti habang naka pa cool na tayo sa LRT, malapit sa pinto. Buti wala masyadong tao di ba? Buti may hawak akong book. Ergo, they know di ako baliw na biglang ngingiti na lang!

Unang pahina pa lang, natawa na ako kasi may drawing dun. Yung Ermita? Ako nga di makapag drawing ng mapa. Natawa ako dun sa HIWA! Actually, her sense of writing ain’t conventional. Alam mo yung go with the flow? Parang si Sir Ricky. Kung paano bigkasin, ganon isusulat. Example: ANTAMAD. Basta parang ganyan. Nalimutan ko yung exact word na ginamit niya. Tapos di rin siya takot sabhin ang mga katagang,

Isang babaeng may pekpek.

Fuck yeah! Saan ka pa? May MTRCB ba sa books? Ewan ko. Ayoko na pag-isipan.

But over-all, hindi naman siya tungkol sa mens. Nabiktima na naman ako ng propaGANDA ng cover. Tungkol to sa buhay niya. Natuto ako magbasa ng mga memoirs nung nagbasa ako ng kay Frank McCourt. Natuwa naman ako. Pero yung kaniya, ke Bebs, o, kunwari close kami., Shet! sana di niya to mabasa. baka i link niya to sa FB Account niya at mabasa ng mga supporters niya, sabihin ang FC FC ko to the nth power of infinity and beyond! kakaiba rin naman. Katulad ng mga sinabi ko na kanina, idagdag natin yung pagkakaprint. Yung naka dalawang columns. Hahah! Actually habang binabasa ko siya naalala ko yung Amapola eh. Sorry uli. Point of reference ko si Sir Ricky kapag Filipino mga binabasa ko. Maka mga lang akala mo ang dami ko nang nabasang Filipino books. Kasi parang 65 na kabanata rin yung kanya. Less nga lang? Saka parang essay yung kaniya,

Dun sa two columns, agad kong naisip yung isang type ng poetry according to structure, OK. Feeling matalino ako ngayon. But honestly, di ko na maalala yung tawag sa poem na - kung tungkol saan yung poem, kunwari kite, pormang kite yung poem. Sabi sa nabasa ko nun, yung TREE ni Joyce Killmer [spell check? Thanks!], ganung poem daw yun. Pero ewan ko ba sa mga librong nakikita ko na may kopya ng tulang yon, di naman hugis puno o kalahating puno yung tula!

Siguro kaya two columns yun kasi, hati. Hati dahil magkahiwalay ang Mom at Dad niya. Mom at Dad. Dad kasi tawag niya sa Tatay niya kaya ayan, nag assume na ako. Intindihin niyo na lang ah?

Tapos yung sa Milkshakes and Daddies, natuwa ako. Naalala ko kasi si Tatay. May part dung naalala ko yung Amapola script namin. Yung L.A Roces? Tama ba? Yun yun e. Dun nakita ni Amy si Homer na kasama si Ma’amsy! At sinabi niyang ang pag-ibig ay para lamang sa mga taong walang self-esteem chuva anofa! anofi! Well, ayoko na maalala yung script. Though di kami nagmilkshakes ni Tatay, at hindi naman niya sinabi sa aking nag-aaway sila ni Nanay, naalala ko siya. Ewan. Basta kapag ganyan na usapan, nag shi-shift yung emotions ko. Kaya utang na loob, wag! Hahaha!

Ang haba na pala nito. Nananakit na yung kanang wrist ko. Ba’t kasi nakataas tong keyboard? Tapos wala naman akong pinatutunguhan?

Pero sa pagbabasa ng buhay ni Bebs, sa magulong buhay gaya ng Maynila, oo, parang hinalintulad niya kasi sa Maynila yun?, siguro nga ang buhay ay parang mens.

Hassle kung minsan. Masakit. Masakit sa puson. Unfair. Unfair dahil babae lang ang nagkakamens. Kaya boys, tang na loob at labas, try niyo. Once lang oh, sige na! Nakakasakit ng ulo. Pero pag natapos na, malamang tapos na! Pero akala mo lang yun. Minsan may pahabol. Bagong pagdurusa. Bagong pagsubok. At pag totally tapos na, mag hello ka next month. Yun eh kung, di ka pa menopause. Huli, una-una lang yan. Nauna si Colay sa kaniya kahit mas matanda siya sa kanya. Ganyan ang buhay. Minsan, una-unahan lang. 

On technical notes. Ay tume-technical kahit di bagay? May mga sentences akong nilaktawan. Meaning, di ako totally focused na gusto kong basahin. Maybe, tinatamad ako o nabobore dun sa parts kasi parang di siya ka abang-abang? Or mediocre na siya? O di ko gusto yung style. Pero maganda pa rin! Batayan ko lang yung pagtatalon ng mga mata ko kung medyo nagustuhan ko ba or not yung book.

At ahem? Filipino-Chinese din siya? Pareho ni Sir Ricky! hahah! KEWL.

O di ba, ang balderdash lang ng review ko? Ngayon na nga lang uli ako gumawa ng book review, wala pang kwenta. hahahha! 

Basahin niyo! Dali! Salamat kay giveupandrea sa pagpapahiram! :)

Rating:

Leshe, kailangan pa ba? Wag na.